Psalm 121 - Where to Look for Help

Psalm 121 is a packed out Psalm—especially for me in this time in my life—and it is important to remember that my help comes from the Lord. I may look up to the hills, awaiting the “cavalry” of doctors and medical science to ride down to my rescue, but my real help comes from the Lord. He is the one that holds the present and future in His hands, just as He held the past. Only he can see beyond this moment.

This morning I received a note from a friend, a Pastor in Oradea, Romania, and he spoke of how there was much unknown territory ahead in 2010, and how we must keep our eyes on Jesus. Absolutely.

When I am reminded of who my Helper is—the maker of heaven and earth—I know that He is the best, most powerful helper there is or ever could be. He knows all there is to know about everything. He knows me, and loves me in spite of that. As He watches over Israel, He watches over me. He is my ever-watchful stabilizer, my shade, my protector, my guide.

Now some would argue that my having cancer indicates that He is not all that watchful, but I do not believe that. Did He allow this to come to my life? Certainly. Did He send it because he desires to see his children suffer? No. Did it happen because He was not paying attention? No. He doesn’t even take naps. Perhaps it has come as training for something in the future.

The hardest question for me to ask is “Lord, what do you want me to learn from this?” It is hard because I may not know the answer until the whole deal is over. Perhaps it is simply for His glory. His being glorified does not ride on my personal response to the disease, the treatment or the outcome. His glory is bigger than that. The thing I need to pray is that I would not be protected or delivered from His glory.

My help comes from the Lord.

C-Word Update

Yesterday, I had my second chemo day in this cycle (#4). The additional drug looks like cool-aid. Things continue to go well. I have started a new medication by mouth and it makes me a little dizzy (and occasionally a lot dizzy) when I stand up too quick after sitting for a period of time. This makes verse three, about not letting my foot slip, all the more meaningful! So please continue to pray for me that side effects will continue to be minimal, and meds to be effective, but most of all, that God will be glorified.


We continue to await word from the insurance company about our desire to have the Autologus Stem Cell Transplant here in Augusta. We may have to wait until January 8, which is the requisite thirty-days after the appeal. We know what we want. We also know that God sees the big picture and knows what is best. So pray that His will is done, and that He is glorified.

Thanks!

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