"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." - Hebrews 11:8
This verse was quoted in another blog I keep up with, and when I read it, I thought, "that is the way I feel right now." We have come through week one with intense chemo, and now we are doing something different, at least to some degree, every week, and I don't know what it is going to be like, feel like or whatever. An adventure, for sure. This week is mobilizing the stem cells. Next week is collecting ten million or so of those little fellas.
Instead of me shooting people with a Canon (camera) my wife (an RN, for those who don't know) is shooting me. She gave me two shots this morning. Happy Valentines Day! She is a great wife and a great nurse.
So how am I doing? Overall, pretty well. I have sort of an underlying nausea feeling, but, with proper medication, it is livable. Appetite is suppressed somewhat, but that will not likely hurt me either. Energy level isn't very high, but I am getting around and doing what needs to be done. Much of the time I am sort of in slow motion.
God is still God, and He is in control. Like Abraham, I cannot see around the corner to know what is ahead. But I know that God knows, and that is who counts. He is the one who will bring us up this hill and to the destination He desires.
Thanks to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement during these days. It means more than you know.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday, Feb. 12 Morning Update
Just to get the word out...
Day four of intense chemo is a tad shorter. They are hoping to get us out of the hospital by 8:00 PM, when we will head back to my mom's - provided we are not stuck here by the blizzard. Part one just about complete.
This has been intense, even though the side effects have not, and that is a praise. All the meds have done a number on me, so that I had to have two packs of red blood cells yesterday, along with additional potassium and magnesium. I am also learning a little about bone pain (not real bad) and the pain medication to deal with it.
Next week begins "mobilization" where April will give me shots that will cause my bone marrow to expel my stem cells so they can be collected the next week. That is the next step.
Again, thank you all for your prayers. Continue to pray that God will be glorified, adn that my body will respond as He desires to treatment. On a very practical level, pray that the predicted snow for Atlanta today will not hinder us from getting from the hospital to my mom's this evening.
Philippians 4:13, 19!
Day four of intense chemo is a tad shorter. They are hoping to get us out of the hospital by 8:00 PM, when we will head back to my mom's - provided we are not stuck here by the blizzard. Part one just about complete.
This has been intense, even though the side effects have not, and that is a praise. All the meds have done a number on me, so that I had to have two packs of red blood cells yesterday, along with additional potassium and magnesium. I am also learning a little about bone pain (not real bad) and the pain medication to deal with it.
Next week begins "mobilization" where April will give me shots that will cause my bone marrow to expel my stem cells so they can be collected the next week. That is the next step.
Again, thank you all for your prayers. Continue to pray that God will be glorified, adn that my body will respond as He desires to treatment. On a very practical level, pray that the predicted snow for Atlanta today will not hinder us from getting from the hospital to my mom's this evening.
Philippians 4:13, 19!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Growing Seed
Mark 4: 26-29
He also said, "This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."
I think about all the places I have been allowed to go, and how often we were limited to simply sowing seed, and not being able to speak openly about the most important thing. Sometimes that has been very difficult, because you want to tell them, and you cannot return to report big numbers to our results-oriented American mindsets. Many do not understand who have never been in such situations. But I love this line about once the seed is sown, “all by itself the soil produces grain.” The seed has to be sown, and once in the heart-ground of the recipient, it begins to sprout and grow. We are not allowed in on the timetable for such. We just have to trust.
Update: (2.10.2010)
Here at Emory, I had my central line installed on Monday, and Monday night began my 96 hour continuous chemo deal. Side effects so far are minimal. I feel pretty good. I am able to read, write on the computer, do a few little doodads for work, go for some walks, and watch a bit of TV from time to time. And of course, there are naps.
The staff here is wonderful. They are pleasant, efficient, helpful and encouraging.
Please continue to lift us up to the Father as we work through this phase and then start the next related to my stem cell transplant. If you are in the neighborhood, we are open to company, if you are open to wearing a mask, are over 16, and not contagious with anything.
He also said, "This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."
I think about all the places I have been allowed to go, and how often we were limited to simply sowing seed, and not being able to speak openly about the most important thing. Sometimes that has been very difficult, because you want to tell them, and you cannot return to report big numbers to our results-oriented American mindsets. Many do not understand who have never been in such situations. But I love this line about once the seed is sown, “all by itself the soil produces grain.” The seed has to be sown, and once in the heart-ground of the recipient, it begins to sprout and grow. We are not allowed in on the timetable for such. We just have to trust.
Update: (2.10.2010)
Here at Emory, I had my central line installed on Monday, and Monday night began my 96 hour continuous chemo deal. Side effects so far are minimal. I feel pretty good. I am able to read, write on the computer, do a few little doodads for work, go for some walks, and watch a bit of TV from time to time. And of course, there are naps.
The staff here is wonderful. They are pleasant, efficient, helpful and encouraging.
Please continue to lift us up to the Father as we work through this phase and then start the next related to my stem cell transplant. If you are in the neighborhood, we are open to company, if you are open to wearing a mask, are over 16, and not contagious with anything.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A Long Climb Up A Big Hill
Psalm 120-136 – The Psalms of Ascent
It seems whatever I am reading regarding pain or struggle the writers often come back to this series of Psalms. These are Psalms of Ascent, sung by Hebrew pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem (elevation 2700 feet) three times per year for feasts (Unleavened Bread, Weeks, Booths–according to MacArthur). Many of these journeys started from as far as Asia Minor and Arabia (121:5a and 5b, respectively) so it was a long trip.
Here is what struck me about these Psalms:
1. They speak of the struggle. Travel to Jerusalem took determination. Most were on foot, and it took days, not hours.
2. They focus on the goal, not the journey: standing in the House of the Lord, being in Jerusalem.
3. They recount the previous blessings, provision and protection of the Lord.
These are all good things to do when faced with a big uphill climb. Whether it be a physical hill, a spiritual or emotional one, focusing on the Lord and his help in the past.
This Stem Cell thing sounds like a long hill to ascend. But I must remember that it is the hill, not the destination. My Jerusalem is long-term remission. Climbing isn’t fun, but being at the top of the mountain is great!
I remember my first trip to Romania. It was dreary every day of that trip in October 1991. Near the end of the trip I was in Brasov with friends. They took us up the mountain, and we took the cable car up to the top of Poiana Brasov. On the way up, we broke through the clouds. We got off the cable car and climbed to the peak. Just beyond the mountains, on the opposite side from the clouds, was the most beautiful view: a green, sun lit valley, complete with a tiny village at the bottom. From our high perch, everything appeared small, but beautiful. But the view was awesome.
Starting tomorrow, I am going for the peak. The climb may be difficult. But God is with me through it all. He knows all of it already. So pray that my focus stays on Him and the goal, not the climb. I am trusting Him to get me all the way to the peak! That is where there will be rejoicing.
It seems whatever I am reading regarding pain or struggle the writers often come back to this series of Psalms. These are Psalms of Ascent, sung by Hebrew pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem (elevation 2700 feet) three times per year for feasts (Unleavened Bread, Weeks, Booths–according to MacArthur). Many of these journeys started from as far as Asia Minor and Arabia (121:5a and 5b, respectively) so it was a long trip.
Here is what struck me about these Psalms:
1. They speak of the struggle. Travel to Jerusalem took determination. Most were on foot, and it took days, not hours.
2. They focus on the goal, not the journey: standing in the House of the Lord, being in Jerusalem.
3. They recount the previous blessings, provision and protection of the Lord.
These are all good things to do when faced with a big uphill climb. Whether it be a physical hill, a spiritual or emotional one, focusing on the Lord and his help in the past.
This Stem Cell thing sounds like a long hill to ascend. But I must remember that it is the hill, not the destination. My Jerusalem is long-term remission. Climbing isn’t fun, but being at the top of the mountain is great!
I remember my first trip to Romania. It was dreary every day of that trip in October 1991. Near the end of the trip I was in Brasov with friends. They took us up the mountain, and we took the cable car up to the top of Poiana Brasov. On the way up, we broke through the clouds. We got off the cable car and climbed to the peak. Just beyond the mountains, on the opposite side from the clouds, was the most beautiful view: a green, sun lit valley, complete with a tiny village at the bottom. From our high perch, everything appeared small, but beautiful. But the view was awesome.
Starting tomorrow, I am going for the peak. The climb may be difficult. But God is with me through it all. He knows all of it already. So pray that my focus stays on Him and the goal, not the climb. I am trusting Him to get me all the way to the peak! That is where there will be rejoicing.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Anticipation
When I was a kid, I went to a frontier dentist who happened to practice in downtown Atlanta. I remember that you never went for an appointment that you didn't wait for hours in the waiting room, and then another hour usually in the chair (he had five or six) before he walked in. Even in the waiting room, you could hear that unmistakable sound of the high speed drill. Often followed by a moan or grown from the patient. By the time the dentist came in, I was so nervous I was about ready to jump out the chair and hit the fire escape!
That is sort of how I have felt the last few weeks. Knowing the Stem Cell Transplant was ahead, and knowing it has the potential to be the roughest part of all the treatment, I found myself getting tired of waiting. Well, the waiting is over. April and I spent several hours at the clinic at Emory yesterday, and I get started with the whole deal on Monday, February 8. I'll get a central line (lines actually) and then they will start me on some intense chemo to kill off as much of the remaining disease as possible. More fun will follow that. April and I were very impressed with the transplant team. They are straightforward, encouraging, helpful, and really seem to know what they are doing.
I'll have another post to put up in a day or two, but for now, please continue to pray that God will be glorified in it all, and that I will be a witness wherever I am. I'll get some new drugs and heavier doses of some of the "older" ones, so please pray that side effects will be as mild as possible while the medications are doing their necessary work.
If you are in the Atlanta area and want to visit, that would be great. The best thing would be to call April and find out if it is a "good" day or not. Right now, this is all new territory. If you need April's number, drop me an email or leave a comment and we shall try to get it to you.
Even if I cannot see it all yet, there is a purpose in this. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says,
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
I take great strength and hope that my God is the "God of all comfort."
Oh, and if you see me Sunday, I might already have a lot less hair than normal. Some of you will respond, "what hair?" I say, the little bit that is left is going to leave me, so I am going to go ahead and get it removed before it starts coming out.
Thanks for your prayers.
That is sort of how I have felt the last few weeks. Knowing the Stem Cell Transplant was ahead, and knowing it has the potential to be the roughest part of all the treatment, I found myself getting tired of waiting. Well, the waiting is over. April and I spent several hours at the clinic at Emory yesterday, and I get started with the whole deal on Monday, February 8. I'll get a central line (lines actually) and then they will start me on some intense chemo to kill off as much of the remaining disease as possible. More fun will follow that. April and I were very impressed with the transplant team. They are straightforward, encouraging, helpful, and really seem to know what they are doing.
I'll have another post to put up in a day or two, but for now, please continue to pray that God will be glorified in it all, and that I will be a witness wherever I am. I'll get some new drugs and heavier doses of some of the "older" ones, so please pray that side effects will be as mild as possible while the medications are doing their necessary work.
If you are in the Atlanta area and want to visit, that would be great. The best thing would be to call April and find out if it is a "good" day or not. Right now, this is all new territory. If you need April's number, drop me an email or leave a comment and we shall try to get it to you.
Even if I cannot see it all yet, there is a purpose in this. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says,
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
I take great strength and hope that my God is the "God of all comfort."
Oh, and if you see me Sunday, I might already have a lot less hair than normal. Some of you will respond, "what hair?" I say, the little bit that is left is going to leave me, so I am going to go ahead and get it removed before it starts coming out.
Thanks for your prayers.
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